Gary Speed

Thought I would leave it a few days before I would make a comment about this terrible tragedy.

As some of you may know in 2007 we lost a very close relative to suicide....life just became too painful.

Many people have commented that they just can’t get their head around what has happened with Gary Speed. The reality is that we never can. We will try and see the situation through the eyes of logic and quite simply when someone decides to end their own life, logic, as we see it, is never part of the equation.

Again many have said they simply didn't see it coming, they thought everything was fine, or at best ok. I can remember the conversation I had with our relative hours before he made his last decision. I have gone over the conversation many times in my head, what clue did I miss, was there something I could have said. Questions that I am sure I will always ask myself, just as I am sure, the many people that knew and spoke to Gary Speed in his final days have asked themselves.

The reality is that when someone truly decides to end their life there will never be the clues we so longingly wished we could have had. People have said how relaxed and joking Gary Speed was only the day before, even talking about the future. How can this be?

I believe in his heart the decision was made, and a sense of peace almost would have descended on him. He could happily talk about the future because he had (in his mind) reconciled it, dealt with it even.

Saturday I saw a picture of his two sons and his wife....I thought how dignified and brave they were. I will be praying for them. I can only hope that in those final moments of his life Gary Speed found the peace he was so desperately looking for.

Finally I am not sure what lessons can be learnt from these tragic events other than we need each other, we sometimes need to go past the platitudes and dig a little deeper, relationships are key to everything.

Finally, finally thanks to those people, who are part of my life who dig....you may not always get the right response from me but you are right to ask....so thanks to Neil, Jen and especially Ness.

Strive to keep the 'diggers' in your life, we all need them.

Take care.

Andy